Thursday, August 28, 2008

Increasingly Frustrated

Let me vent with you just for a few minutes today. I am increasingly frustrated today and honestly -well I wont say........
BUT WHY?
Well there are 2 reasons but let me start with this. Giving advise to someone.... Do you have someone in your life that you can speak with honestly - advise them in their life? Would that same advise work for, say, your daughter or son when she/he is of this age? Would that conversation actually take place? Would that same advise be given with their parent there with them? Probably not - so why would you give advise and examples to a young person who is finding their way, lost in the world, willing to maybe expand on the freedoms of being underneath the parents rule for the first time in her/his life by experimenting or doing something she/he would not normally do? - WHY on earth would you steer them in directions that could be bad for her/him?
I talk to "MyKids" just as if I am talking with my son Kyle. I talk to the kids here at the university just like they were my kids. I give them the best advise I can give them ... I try my best to show them Jesus and that my door is always open for them to come in and sit down and really talk. It is frustrating to be really honest. I remember telling my pastor about a year and half ago that when the time comes for me to move on from stage in life that I wanted to serve at the church full time... I wonder sometimes why I have not already excersized that option.
What do your children see when they look at you? Do they see a person that is living their life trying their best to be like Jesus? Or do they see your running over poeple, always getting what you want, using people mean just to get what you want from them or living for more, more, more?
What are we teaching kids today? I mean really - They learn about Jesus through their parents. If they don't see Jesus in us - then chances are they won't see Him at all. We are creating a "Give Me Generation".
How do you start your day now that school is back in swing? Screaming, hurrying, yelling, fighting over finished homework? Most kids today have maid service, they don't have to do much in the home - minimal responsibilities but yet they have cable tv in their room, $400 cell phones with blackberry contact so they don't miss a friends email or IM - always connected on the internet with no regard to safety and hiding behind the monitor. Cell plans that cost $100 a month and they can't seem to stay within the 100,000 minutes a month plan. Life would end if the internet connection went down or the cell didnt have 2 bars. You email them, call them, text them and you get no response back or maybe if you are lucky a 1 line text through the phone. If our kids are the center of everything we do and the center of everything we give - where does Jesus fall into their lives? He will have NO place in them!
So many parents I know just keep their kids busy to keep them busy. Running them to scouts, soccer, fallball, football, to the mall - run run run. Family values like sitting down at the dinner table hasnt happened in years, or at best once a week/month. Movie nights as a family have been over since Jr. was 8. Is all this worth giving up a relationship with Jesus Christ over? What do you think upsets you the most about your teenagers or young adults? Is it their attitude? Selfishness? Lack of respect for others? - or - is it their character?
Deep down maybe that is just what it is ... their character - who they really are. Are you modeling that character for them? Is all this worth given Jesus the chance to shape your teenagers character?

Carol and I have a good family who goes to our church and with all the rain the area the last few days, many folks are in shelters from being flooded out of their homes. The children in this family held a meeting - they voted and came to the parents and made the announcement. They wanted to open their home up to a family who had been flooded out. Parents jaw dropped.....Man - that is awesome and this family is on the right track. This family knows Jesus - the parents model Jesus in their lives the BEST they know how to do. God is fitting into their childrens lives by watching and learning from their parents.
Kyle bugs me to stop and see the seniors at the Heritage Home almost every time we drive by there. You see he knows that when we stop and visit these folks - it makes them really happy, to have a visitor, to spend some time with them. He knows we are serving them but we are also serving Jesus. What we do to others, we also do to Jesus.

We cannot just run our homes to keep our kids happy. We have to learn to be the teacher and respond as apposed to reacting. We need to look for those teachable moments - build our children up - and learn about Vitamin N.
Vitamin N? What is that? "Vitamin NO" - it needs to be part of our childrens lives. They need to take part in the running of the home and not get everything for free. Are we raising our kids to live in a hotel or do we want our children to grow up in a home?
I want "MYKids" to have the ability to make good decisions. To care about others by serving them and putting others first. To see Jesus in not only me but also in their parents. Kyle is now at the age where he askes what he should do when he has to make a decision. We give him the same question back - letting him decide - praise him for good decisions and explaining those lessons learned when he chooses poorly.

Ephesians 6
Children and Parents 1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."[
a] 4Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Parents, we have a tough job with raising kids. Without the guidance of our heavenly father - the lessons we learn and teach our kids by being Christ like - we have no chance. I don't even want to imagine the outcome - but I bet you know someone right now who is on the verge of that cliff. It might be down the road just a bit but you can see the footsteps on the path.

heavy hearted today....
Lonnie~

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ouch....! And I thought you were frustrated because those Hot Wings that I fixed for dinner last night gave you a tummy ache this morning. LOL.

One more day, and we'll headed to the cabin for a 3-day weekend of R&R.

Love ya ~~ Carol

Anonymous said...

I am sorry you are increasingly frustrated, but I think you are right on the mark with everything you said. We are at a critical point with our not quite teenage son, who is struggling with what his place is. It is hard to resist the urge to allow him to be a little kid sometimes. It is frustrating that he wants to be treated like a little kid when it is time to participate in household responsibilities, but like a teenager when it is time to do fun stuff with Project 252. It is also hard to help him see when it the time to joke around and when is the time to be respectful and do as you are told. For what it is worth, you are an excellent role model for kids and other adults, and we can't imagine how our church got along without you and your sweet family!!

Sharon Davis said...

I love your comment about the "vitamin N" the NO word. That just cracked me up. Awesome! I imagine how your momma would react to that if she were here today. Look at you, you turned out pretty good I'd say and I'm sure you had that vitamin lots of times!!

You are speaking from your heart what Jesus is trying to say to our youth today. The devil is after the young,(& the old) he knows there is so much of the world to lure them away from Jesus.

"I will bless the Lord, who hath given me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons." Psalms 16:7

Keep on keeping on, God can give you the right word at the right time to someone that He can only reach through you in HIS own timing.

"I am continually with thee: thou hast holden me by my right hand. Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory." Psalms 73:23,24

I used to tell your momma that if the Devil can get his foot in the door he will devour the whole family. We must rebuke Satan with the word of God as he attacks our youth. Parents be strong, put on the whole armour of God for the battle, you will reap a godly harvest if you sow godly seeds. Your children will thank you one day, it may take a while for them to see but God will open their eyes.

God's blessings,
Aunt Sharon