Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Behind the smile~

It has been a few days since my last post and to be honest I'm learning a few things and needed some time to process and come to grips with what God is teaching me. I first want to say congrats to Pastor Travis and his wife Kristen on the birth of their new daughter this morning. Everyone is doing well and we are thankful for that. It has been a tough few weeks leading up till today and we are thankful everyone is well and doing great!
Sunday night I attended WinterJam at Bobcats arena in downtown Charlotte with 25 or so middle/high school students and 5 student ministry leaders. MAN, what a great time for sure. We hit the lines early around 2:00 and stood in the cold till 4:30 when the doors opened. We got the first 3 rows to the concert and it sure was awesome worshipping and singing with 17000 people all to Third Day, 10th Ave North and some others. My Rock Group kid and one of Kyle's best friends Zach, got called onto stage in front of everyone as the Pastor for WinterJam used Zach to open his sermon. Zach traded in a nice shiny gold penny for a $50 bill. When the pastor called out his name our entire student ministry screamed and yelled.... it was an amazing moment for sure and one I am sure Zach won't be forgetting anytime soon. I got to bond a little with some of the other students during our time together Sunday since Sunday's is jammed pack and its hard to just have some hang out time. I am especially thankful for that time to get to know them.
This is what brings me to this post today. There are basically 3 kinds of students at church. One group is only there because someone made them go. They are the ones sitting with the blank stares, looking at the floor and fiddling with anything they can get their hands on. The look on their faces tells a giant story. The chances of God touching their lives on Sunday mornings is still there but may take longer and God may very well at some point in their lives get a hold of them in some other way. There are also those students who are there that get it but have yet to live it. They understand God is working in their lives, they are following Him but they are just a few notches of really being on fire for the things of God. If only they had a little push, a little encouragement and a little guidance from either a parent, a trusted friend or adult or youth leader.... they would be there. The last is that students who are on fire for God. They live it, breathe it and pour it into others. Each church has all 3 of these students.
I can honestly say that the students that I am having no impact on really hurt. Some I have been walking with for years and there is very little change or they have even went backwards. Thanfully there are not many and in time maybe I will get that chance again. So much time invested, so many prayers asking God to get a hold of them and for them to just "Get it". It is hard watching them put their own motives and needs ahead of everyone elses knowing that the road they are leading is for sure the wrong one. Its hard to let go. There is more to pour into!!! I am very blessed to have a small handful of students that I can pour into with everything I have. I know they know who they are and I continue to pray that I will have this influence down the road for them. There is something special in them and I see the potential and the possibilities in their lives with God and that comes from influence, direction and a heart for them. Everyone needs someone to have those hard conversations with, to hold them accountable and to hold them to a higher standard. Pastor Travis has said a few times over the last week - "If its Christian - it ought to be better" and that not only goes for our actions, our music but also in our lives as we try to live our lives as Christ.

Power - its the ability to force someone to do you will, even if they would chose not to because of your position or your might. ~ So many parents play this role in their childrens lives. I for sure dont want to use my Power over my son or anyone else's. It may work when they are young but what about when they are 14? I want my close students to not feel in anyway shape or form that I am using my power over them to get them to do what I want. After all, its not about me.

Authority - The skill in getting people to willingly do your will because of your personal influence. There has to be some authority in the parenting role. Personal influence if from the heart is a good thing and will leave a lasting impression. It means that you are the leader and as in the relationship between Paul and Timothy - some have to lead and some have to follow. By doing so, one day the follower (Timothy)will be the leader (Paul). Once that person becomes a leader then they too will get followers.

Leadership - The skill of influencing people to work/serve enthusiastically towards goals identified as being for the common good. This is a big one and basically it means leading people to understanding their full potential for their lives. God gives us each a free will and some stick with leadership and some walk away.

I look at the students in my life and I see their smiles, I see the pain sometimes, I see them trying to figure themselves out. I see them with questions, some with answers and some who just don't care about anything. I often wonder about where their hearts are even if what I see on the outside is the real them - do the ones who seem to have it all together, have it all together? Do the ones who seem like they are so messed up and struggling, inside do they have it all right? What about the ones who just don't seem to have much of anything going on...where are they behind the smile?
No matter how well I know each student, or how much they open up, the human soul is always a mystery to everyone but God. As a leader, I have to remember to take nothing for granted. I have to remember they are an emotional roller coaster and sometimes surprises happen and one minute your leading and then next they pull back or they just walk away from it all. Its such a fine rope to walk. For sure this is the hardest thing I have ever done... especially when my heart is tied to them...They not always what they appear..... the outside may look totally different than what is going on on the inside. They may be struggling with something at school, peer pressures, identity issues, pornography, parents divorce, dad walked away, drug problems, boyfriend girlfriend issues... the list is LONG!
Whats behind the smile?
I don't want any of the students that God has placed in my care to fall through the cracks. I don't want to invest all my energy into the ones that seem like are hurting the most and miss out on the ones who seem to have it all together .... Just because this student doesn't appear to be a mess doesn't mean they aren't.
So as I pray through this and really ask God to teach me some things, I know for sure that there are a few close students in my life that I am blessed to pour all I have into. I am thankful for them (for wanting it, accepting it and needing it) and for their parents for their trust to let me lead and let me lead with authority... and with NO power. I don't ever want to do something just because I am stronger, in a bigger position or can wrestle them down to the floor if needed. I want them to follow because my heart loves them and they know it. I want them to follow because Jesus has called me to lead and that is a new role for me to be honest. Its a role I am learning because I have always been a person to serve happily behind the scenes. I lead the setup and breakdown ministry at church for years and that is all behind the scenes. It was a wonferful place to own my faith, to serve unselfishly and to really learn to lead people.
There are times in life though that He calls us to the front lines.... and that is where I find myself today. The front lines, the danger zone - the red zone.... and for sure the hurt zone.
1 Samuel 16:7 But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

There is no other place to be right now.... my heart is in this. Thankful for those walking with me on my journey. Love ya with all I have! I am cheering loudly over here!

Praying that Jesus continues to stay behind my smile..... and it may be all someone needs today to make a difference in their life. Ministry happens in every moment if you are looking for it and ready for it.
Love Loud ~ Risk Often ~ Hope Always
Peace and blessings,
Lonnie

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