A monday morning like no other...

2 Corininthians 12:9 - But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. ¹⁰That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

This past weekend was sort of an odd couple of days. Friday night we got to go see our dear friends Brandon and April in concert with their church. It was a night of worship and it really was. Nothing like raising hands and singing your heart out to our most awesome God ... and along with hundreds of people sure makes for a great evening. God is really using Brandon and April, in their music and gifts they have been given. Love those 2. Saturday I spent the day working in the yard as the weather was perfect to be outside. Carol and Kyle went to his old school for fall festival and thats something I usually go to but I was just needing some space. Some quiet time, some me time which I know and admit I don't take enough of. So after yard work, I got Payton, my girl Siberian husky, and we hit the road. I had to stop and work and get some boxes for a family that is moving so we went in the office. Payton got to meet some folks and she seemed to really enjoy that. We dropped off the boxes and had a chance to catch up with the dad, talk about the upcoming move and see 2 of the kids I lead at church. It was good to see them and be able to sit and talk for a few moments and catch up. Life is stressful during a move and life is so much on change ... most people people don't do well with change. They took me over to see their new home which is pretty amazing and then Payton and I hit the park. Got a few miles walked and then headed home. Scarowinds Saturday was a ton of fun. Me, Kyle, Ethan, Morgan, Taylor and Kayla enjoyed the park, the scary stuff was just over the top as they don't hold back to get the scare out of you. Intimidator at night as always is pretty cool but the park had a different feel to it with all the smoke and different color lights. We didn't get home until very late and that makes for a tough morning to get up and get setup done at church. As always Pastor Jimmy, Pastor Travis brought a great message. The band was awesome and Kayla did a great job on that last song, so much so that I brought in the Student Ministry to hear it.
Kyle and I spent an hour or so after church with my coworker and his family at the hospital. Things are going ok there and hopefully they will be home today. We got news that Kate was in an accident Sunday morning with her school trip. They were headed to a state park for a day outside. The suburban lost control and flipped a few times. One student was killed and another in serious condition. Thankfully Kate is only banged up and was released from the hospital. Here a teen girl, in a school to help her troubles in life, is killed... life taken so quickly. Sunday night Donna and the girls brought over dinner and the girls wanted to watch a movie. I had just got in the mail, the passion of the Christ. It was time to let them watch it. Pastor Travis spoke on our faith being lazy these days and how we have to be motivated and uncomfortable where our faith is. So it was time to let them see it. What started off as a movie, turned into a real life experience. But for me ... I had seen this movie a long time before but I was at a much different place in my faith then compared to now. I was asking questions and telling Morgan and Kyle who folks were and how history and events took place and why. By the time we got to the end... the suffering was just too much for me. My heart was hurting, tears on my face, I just couldnt watch it anymore. I walked out the back door. An hour later still sobbing, heart breaking, in the most incredible God moving moments... my family came to get me. I have not had a moment like last night where I was dealing with God in such a powerful way since the news of my mom being sick. I checked into the hotel across the street that night and tore that place apart. I asked God every question I could as to why He had to take my mom. I begged for Him to heal her. I sobbed like I had never sobbed before in my life. It all just came out - much like last night. These are very personal moments so I wont give all the details. Ask and I will share them in person because a whisper from God is not to be taken lightly. As that evening in that hotel room came to a close, after I exhausted all that was in me - it was then that God told me to trust Him. That He would heal my mom but not in the way I wanted Him to. He had much bigger work for me to do here, to lead my family, to show others Him through taking care of my mom and to be His hands and feet during this season. My mom passed and God held true to his promises then as he continues to do today. Last night I unloaded a lot that I have been carrying around. My family was there and by my side I got to share the burdens and pain and stress and heart that I am carrying. Like Paul who had a thorn in his side - 3 times he asked God to take it away and God responded that through Pauls weakness, He would be strong. I so feel that today. Those words are like lifting me off the ground today. Its a tough day for sure as I am exhausted from the experience last night but I am so thankful. I don't know what I am going to say to Kyle, Morgan, Taylor and Donna when I see them next. I just have to pray that their hearts are changed as well. They see the suffering of what God has called me to do. I am in the boat and for sure I can't turn back. I have to press on because there is victory in what God has called me to do. Those wounds and seeing Christ hanging on the cross last night in that movie really put things into perspective and reminded me all that Christ has done for me. I am reminded all that He is doing through me. Most people dont get what I have poured so much into with this student ministry. Most people get their kids to a certain age and then dont like them anymore. They love them, they just either need a break, frustrated, don't know what to do and in some cases are at the point where they just need some flippin help. God has given me a heart for these kids. Hey I didn't even like kids except for Kyle until I started in Kyles 3rd grade class helping out and having lunch with him and his classmates. I began to blossom into this journey. God allowed me to live back in 1999 so that He can do something through me. I am thankful He is still teaching me and bringing me to a place where I am broke down, on my face, heart open, around the people who are closest to me and then whisper to not give up. God never calls us to do something easy. Often times when He calls us to do something we don't even understand it... nevertheless be able to do it without him.
God really pressed on me last night to stay the course. To not lose hope. To not back down. To press on even when people don't understand. My heart is moved to a place to trust Him more.
God moved me to a place where I felt as if God was saying, "If you cannot worship me with all you have, do not worship me at all. I dont want your halfway heart."
Loved ones there is no more critical goal in life than to keep a pliable heart before God. If we show up to worship and have our cells out texting, talking, not paying attention, attending church only because this guy or gal is there... then we have it all wrong. If we are to live our lives on fire for God on Monday and spent and burnt out by Tuesday we need to make some changes. If our Bibles have dust on them but let people believe we are digging into Gods word we are only fooling ourselves.
Fully committed and truly devoted, are you willing to let your faith affect things in your life like morals, relationships, money management and even in some cases your career paths......? If not, then maybe you dont know Christ as well as you should. What is holding you back? Remove the distractions, let yourself go in worship, follow and do what the Word says. Cut the cord on that relationship if needed so that you can follow Christ with all your heart and let Him affect everything about you.
I got to know Christ a little more last night... I am broken but I am blessed because God is still shaping me. I pray you let God get to know you better today.

Through my weakness.... God is strong.
Thank you Jesus,
Lonnie~