Romans 12:15-16 "Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with each other. Dont be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And dont think you know it all".

I am so ready for the cabin tonight it is not even funny. The company I will be going with are really true deep friends and I am thankful for them. I will enjoy their company this weekend, as I unplug and unwind and have a chance to pause in life, but they are not ordinary people. See these friends have my back, call to encourage me, call me out when I am out there somewhere and they hug when they see me and they are real hugs. You can tell alot about a person in their hugs. I am huggable and if you know me for any amount of time, its just part of who I am. I am a dear friend when called upon and someone who cares and hurts with you when you are hurting. My mom used to tell me that I carry the weight of those around me on my shoulders. I like to think of it as them leaning on my faith until they can stand on their own. Its hard sometimes and in this season of change, I can really feel God changing my heart. I struggle like everyone else and not immuned to the hurt and the power of words or lack there of.

I had a thought that I wrote down yesterday that I think I will unpack a little on where my heart is at with it. Its getting close to the season last year when a bunch of us got on a cruise ship for the first time and headed to the Bahamas. It was not a good trip and during many of those hours looking for this teenager at 2:00 in the morning or looking for that teenager right before dinner and nobody has seen her - you get to walk up a lot of rows of cabins that all look the same. The only thing that makes things a little different is the door hangers on the cabin doors.
Do not disturb.
Do not bother us .... leave us alone... go away ..... I am busy .... I dont have time for you.....

Disturb can also mean that your heart is bothered and deep inside there is this thing that has a hold of you. You are bothered by it. It keeps you up at night. There is no real answer really to the solution other than to endure it. Heart disturbed.

Mom I look forward to our talk tonight under the stars. I look forward to sitting at the bridge that you only got to see once but a place I dreamed in you visiting us for long weekend that never happened. I look forward to looking east over the tree line as the sun comes up and heaven and earth seem to touch in those moments that its not dawn and its not dark but somewhere inbetween. I look forward to rest this weekend surrounded by deep relationships and people who understand me. What a treasure it is in this broken world to have friends who understand you.

Opportunity to refresh while my do not disturb sign hangs out.
Lonnie~