I Go Back ..... Kenny Chesney

Kenny Chesney - I Go Back ~

I go back to the smell of an old gym floorThe taste of salt on the Carolina shoreAfter graduation and drinkin goodbye to friendsAnd I go back to watchin summer fade to fallGrowin up too fast and I do recallWishin time would stop right in its tracksEverytime I hear that song, I go back, I go backWe all have a song that somehow stamped our livesTakes us to another place and timeSo I go back to a pew,preacher, and a choirSingin bout God, brimstone, and fireAnd the smell of Sunday chicken after churchAnd I go back to the loss of a real good friendAnd the sixteen summers I shared with himNow "Only The Good Die Young" stops me in my tracksEverytime I hear that song, I go back....

How time is going flying! I think the older I get the faster it seems to go. Many times I wish I could just stamp the time right then and there and just savor the moment or the experience. But sometimes I wish the time would fly by like when we are in the middle of something bad or struggling with something in our lives. I know that God is with me and you during the good and the bad times. I just think we sometimes think about God more when we are hurting and in need of a miracle or changed direction in life. I try and focus myself each day in praising God and thanking Him for what He is blessing me with - much like a child who comes to a parent and just wants...wants...want and never Say's Thank You. I think many times as a parent I am not going to give something as freely without those polite words. We start our children young learning them - right from the time Barney was on tv. Whew I am glad that stage faded fast in my household but the show did teach a good and valuable lesson. Respect - I think its missing mostly from the world today. We have become such a self centered world with only caring about ourselves. Rarely it is observed a thank you or a polite child - when we do it sticks out. I remember growing up and mom and dad would always be on us about being polite and respectful. I am thankful for those lessons learned in life. The simple things - the honest things - the real things.
I think back when my mom was being sent home from the hospital. It was just before Christmas. Mom had some tough days with her stay during this time there - we thought we had lost her once due to being over medicated. Mom did not respond well to pain meds and they didn't seem to have any affect on her no matter how much you gave her. The day my dad and I sat with her nurse and we spoke about moms wishes to go home. Even if we were taking her home to die there. She did not want to be in the hospital - she did not want to die there. Plenty of times over the 6 week period she was there on the top floor - the cancer floor - the doors would shut - lights went dark and we were told to stay in the room - they were rolling out someone who past away. No way did any of us want to go through that - the emotions and tears of the family showing everything in the hallways. How those nurses care about their patients and how upset they were and attached they became with our families. I had many long talks with Trish concerning my mom. It was our decision to talk to my dad into bringing mom home. He had not given up on hope for the miracle he was looking for. But in many ways and more important ways - the miracle had already been performed. See moms miracle was Jesus. Her timing to accept Him when she did - the courage she showed and the leadership of our family was there until the last day. Jesus was with her - I remember dad saying ok - and the ball started rolling. Hospice was sent out like an army on attack - bed, oxygen, paperwork, portable toilet - bed had to be moved in the house out of the room. My brother and I all over the place kicking some big time butt getting this done. Not only did we get it all done - I went and got mom a small Christmas tree - founds her decorations and the family put it together and shared in decorating that tree. When mom arrived by ambulance - I remember mom how sick she was, how tired - how exhausted she was when we left. When they rolled mom off the ambulance - Dear Lord this was not the same woman that we just left at the hospital. Mom had a vision in her eyes - an excitement and was wide eyed and smiling. They brought her in and put her in the new hospice hospital bed. We got her comfortable - and she said ok that's enough of this. I am getting up and looking at my house and I want to look out over my deck at the mountain and see my birds. So we assembled everything got people moving and moved mom into her wheel chair - down the hall and into the dining room. When she past the living room she saw the tree. I will never forget that smile - the biggest smile and eyes I have ever seen. She got to see her mountain, the birds, her cat "Memphis" and for 3 days - we shared so much. We had Christmas dinner - opening gifts - shared so much time together with singing and laughing. It was a hard 6 weeks before but looking back now - it was just a blessing from God to share this time. Mom spent some much needed time with her sisters, her brother and her mom as well as all of us. All of us were riding on high on Gods answered prayers and a blessing loved ones - to remember mom at her happiest.
Friends, even when we feel we can't go another step or push through another moment - or make it one more day with my spouse because of the fights and disagreements - God can get you through it. Mom was only with us 2 more months after that - but looking back - it was such a blessing to experience Gods grace and His mercy - His answered prayers with remembering mom in her glory and at her most incredible stage in life. Even during this time, mom asked everyone how they were - made sure everyone was ok - Dad asked mom to marry him again and they shared wedding rings. It was a Christmas to remember!

2 Timothy 3:
14But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, 15and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.

I have learned many things from my mom - my parents - I have my moms care and love in my blood. I have our Lord Jesus in my heart and carrying my baggage for me - my burdens and struggles for me. Lift your hearts loved ones, even when mom had her back against the wall - Jesus shined through mom for all of us to see the love that poured out to us. We shared many things those few short days - it was just a small glimpse of the love we all have in our hearts from Jesus. It is time today - for courage and giving up yourself so that God can work in your life. Rescue you from the sins and struggles you have - so that you can "See" the world around you with "New Eyes" - I can't think of anything more important. This world doesn't offer anything that is worth staying for. Live for Jesus - love for Jesus.

Thanks mom for everything,
Miss and love you,
Randy~