Sitting here this morning with a heart full. Kids have Saturday school as they are having to make up for last weeks 6inches of snowapocolyps. Yes I made up that word but its fitting. Having a cup of java and just wrestling with a few things as I think about the day ahead. Yesterday was a good day with YCI and catching up with so many great students. I love taking a little extra time to smile with them and catch up on the events in their life. It really at times lift ones spirit when you are around some great students who are aiming high in life. Though there may be bumps along the way, they are chosing the path that many dont. Often times its the harder path but one that leads to a good destination.
Last night as I sat with one of my close kids. I wanted to ask a few questions about having a person in your life that you share deep things with. Most people have a close friend in that sense that they share things with that not everyone has the privledge of knowing those deep heart felt things. As we began to talk her eyes filled with tears and the tears spoke as they unraveled what was the matter. As we stepped through this I really wanted to give her some things to hold on to. A Bible verse offering her some wisdom or comfort. I wanted something smart to say but didnt have anything. The only thing I could do was to let that pain she was sharing fill my heart and let compassion take over me. Sometimes as leaders and as parents - all we can do is be there for them. Let them experience somethings and work those things out for themselves. If they ask for advice, give it to them in a gentle and meaningful way.

Stay close, take notice and be there for hug is sometimes all you can do.

A little while later I got a text thanking me for listening and being there. As a parent, nobody wants to see their child hurting. I think back to when Kyle was little and him getting a shot at the doctors office. I wanted more than anything to take that shot for him because as the doctor gave the needle, the tears and pain that follows rips a parents heart out. That pain is real that our children have and it hurts a parents heart.
Far too often in that pain, parents swoop in and rescue their children. When they make bad choices, they come in and make things all better. They tell them its not their fault or make blame on someone else. The child then never really feels the sting of their choices. They never pay the price of those decisions and in turn - they will continue to make those same choices.

Proverbs 22:6 Train a child in the way they should go, and when they are old they will not turn from it.

This verse is key to understanding the process of knowing how to raise our children. Often times parents are just winging it and have no idea what they are doing. I admit to that at times but there has to be a foundation of principle there that doesn't change. Some of the other surface level things can be adjusted according to the situation but the bottom line is that the foundation must never change. Those foundation things are the families core values. Its the values of the family that do not change no matter the situation or even the child. Raising one child has its problems but more than one ... well lets just say that God has created us all different and what works for one often times does not work for the other. Some may be creative, quiet, outgoing, intelligent, or average. Whatever the case, they're all individuals. God does not create people on the assembly line.
They key here I am trying to make it that first part of the verse above. Train a child in the way they should go .... the key word is "WAY". This is a great word in this Proverb because it also means "road" or "path". So if we are all created differently, our path and our road will not be like anyone elses. Our job as parents is to know our childrens way, their characteristics and adjust to what is best for them to "Train them in the way they should go, so when they are old they will not turn from it."
Last week Carol and I were watching the show Nanny 911. It was a great show as this family had lost control of their 6 kids and the parents were at a loss as to what to do. After walking with this family for a day or so, the Nanny went into action. Starting with the parents and then the kids. as the Nanny explained, fix the parent and the kids will follow. As parents we have to teach, lead and make the way for our children. It doesnt work in the other direction. Our children don't need another friend, they have plenty of them at school. What they need is a leader to show them the way. They need a voice to share with them the vision ahead and a heart that follows. I have heard it said that "change a fathers heart and the first to benefit is the family."

Parents its our job to understand the differences in our children, to not compare them to each other and lump them all into a one size fits all. really focusing on those different characteristics in each of them and using them to really stand out in how we teach them, challenge them, lead them is key to our success as parents. Adapt your training according to these different characteristics all the while standing on the core values of the family. Then and only then will a child in the way they should go and when they are old they will not turn from it.

Stay close, take notice and be there for a hug is sometimes all you can do.

lonnie~