A Passionate Heart.....

Today is the last day of the month of January. Where is time going so fast? Does it continue to race by the older we get? The month of February will be a hard emotional month for me and many in my family. I am preparing myself for some days of emotion and some days of pure joy for my mom. As Feb 23rd approaches, I am praying that God reveals to me what I should do that day - how should I honor my mom or go and be with my family - especially my dad. I am sure I will be blogging more on the subject as time draws near but as I look back over the last year since mom left - its been almost like being frozen in time. It seems so long ago but yet it seems like yesterday. If I think long enough or remember something from that time, emotion is easy to find me. I never considered myself an emotional kind of guy - I was always taught the guys don't cry and we have to be tough. I valued that growing up and into my young adult years but I look at it now as silly in a way since mom left. I wear my emotion on my sleeves and I look for opportunities to love on people - love on my family and love on the people in my life. I accept people for who they are and where they have come from. I want to sit and listen - to lend a hand and to share this things called life. I guess in a way God has humbled me since mom left to love people. I never considered myself a people person since I am kind of shy, don't like speaking in crowds and I am comfortable in the back of the room instead of being out front way out in the open. I have changed some and have grown out of my shell so to speak. Being that most of my family is far away - 2 hours drive - how I don't get to see them everyday and when I do see them - do they see a changed person? Do they see a difference in me - do they see Jesus in my heart? I know many in my family are struggling, looking for Jesus to give them the miracle to set their lives straight and make it better - easier and more fulfilling than it is now. How some of them have made decisions in life that has brought them to the place they find themselves today. I truly believe that each person has 2 or 3 BIG things happen in their lives that truly and honestly change a person. I think my mom was one of mine - the other has been accepting Jesus. My heart has a passionate side to it now - a passionate side for Jesus. A side that I want to make a difference, I want to sit and listen, I want to pray and show them that Jesus is the answer - to lean when we can't do it ourselves. I prayed after my mom left that God would continue to use me and give me direction. I did not want to slide back into myself after such an emotional experience with my mom. God truly delivered me through that time and continues to deliver me through it. He grabbed me by the hand and walked with me every step of the way -showing me I can do it when I didn't think I could. My Prayers of Jabez will be 1 year old this coming month. Its my journal that I have been keeping - of prayers and praise - prayers lifted for my family, friends and special people - for circumstances and for God to reveal himself to those in my life. SO many heart felt prayers - I know that we all have busy days and making time for this and that is very hard because we just run out of gas. There is not enough time in a day sometimes. Writing in my Jabez makes me sit and spend time with Jesus. It is special time and alone time. Its not sitting in bed half asleep trying to read a page in the bible - its not praying as I am driving to work- its not praying and asking God for help when I am sitting at the pizza place. Its a passionate time for me to sit and talk out things with our Lord. He listens to everything and he knows my heart - my intentions if they are not true - He knows my struggles and my hang ups even before I admit them and give them to Him. Jesus has put me on a new course in this life and one that I will never look back on my old self and my old ways. I know I can do what God places on my heart because He walks with me. As I sit at night and pray with my son - I think about the missed opportunities that I missed out on with praying with my mom. Living this life as I am right now with my mom. How proud she would have been to see this - to live this with me. She reconfirmed her faith and rededicated her life to Jesus one special Saturday morning at our church office with my pastor and friend. As she sat at the table - she spilled so many things, so many heartaches, so many worries and cried and cried. I will never forget that day as long as I live. See friends momma was making preparations and took responsibility for herself. Maybe I have some of that passion in my heart today -not only for Jesus but for you as well. No matter what you have going on in life today, right now, if its a drug addiction, an affair, a divorce, a problem with a teenager, your job, no job, a boss, a parent or sister that you had a fight with, no matter what it is in life - Jesus can set you free and give you direction - He can give you hope - He can give you a heart that has passion and forgiveness. We are not alone - and we don't have to struggle in this life alone - ONE DAY WE ARE GOING TO GET OUT OF THIS DUMP - and be with Jesus - I will get to see my mom again. This is the passion and the truth that will rise you above where you are today.
Jesus before he was taken and crucified - he prayed for himself, for his disciples and for me and you:
John 17:20
20"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: 23I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. 24"Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. 25"Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. 26I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them."

God has picked you even before we picked Him. I pray you have spent some time today with Jesus - A passionate heart will begin to open like a flower in the spring time - with beauty and glory in the morning sun. Email me if you need prayer in your life. Serving what an honor...
lrbatema@gmail.com
randy~