I have to say that even with all the tough things happening in 2013 - I have been on a good roll with my reading. Reading is learning and when the books I pick up - mostly on my ipad - I really get a round vision for leadership, following Christ, testimonies from others, student ministry and so much more. It really has been such a blessing the last season of my life with all the reading and the things I am learning. It for sure is digging me deeper into Gods word for my life.
The last week now I have been reading "Choosing to See" by Mary Chapman - Steven Curtis Chapman's wife. Mostly the book is written from her point of view but it shares a lot of Stevens words and influence as well as music, in it as this book leads us in details about her life, their marriage, family and also in the blessing of adoption which is where 2 of their daughters from China were adopted from. Its such an amazing story as I read the words on the screen and at several times I had to put the Ipad down because I was in tears. I remember just a month ago my brother Danny, his mom was saying, "It is just night right for a parent to be burying their child". I so agree with her and after her comment, I will forever remember her saying that. My heart opened up to the fact that this mom had to bury her son. I have been through some tough seasons with the passing of my mom, grandparents, in-laws and now my brother but nothing could be more painful than burying your child.
I imagine how God felt sending his son to die a brutal death in a humiliating way by being beaten, spit on, made fun of and mocked while hanging on the cross all the while looking down and seeing his mom and dad in tears. How did Mary raise a son knowing that the weight of the world was on his shoulders? That he came for a purpose and still she had to change his diapers, teach him right from wrong and all the things parents teach their children. She must have loved him even more than the depths of a parent and child knowing there was so much more on the line.

So even in their pain in losing a child - God was Seen in so many different ways. Here is a part of the book I wanted to share.
"Choosing to See" by Mary Chapman.

What now? I am God.... keep walking and keep trusting.... love well the ones still in your charge and care...realize that time is short, life is hard, but I've given you so much, do not squander it! How? By remembering that I am God and your trust has to rely completely on Me... no striving of your own will to fix, heal, cure, help, calm any of what you see as mess. I allow what I allow for reasons you cant comprehend... rest. You wont figure this out, but He who holds Maria, Danny, my mom, my inlaws, my grandparents and your family and friends who have passed on, holds you.  What? - Realizing I am God, do the next thing. Tell people of My amazing faithfulness, love your family and friends well... rest! It is ok if you need to. Life on earth is short. I am coming to get you - Soon!

Isn't that just awesome? I mean Mary Chapman shares it perfectly. No matter what you are going through or what is taking place - just keep going. Dont stop, keep pressing and trusting even if you are seeking answers to some tough questions, trust in that God will provide you what you will need when you need it. Time is short here and take in the moments given to you and enjoy them. Treasure them. Invest in them. Even if things are hard and this season of time is very difficult, asking God to remove those things will only produce a faith that is not seasoned with Christ. We want to grow deeper in our walk with Him and asking to have him remove those things will grow our roots shallow. For me, I continue to sing His praises even when at times it seams unbearable, the mountain is too large or the situation is too painful.

I will close with a part of my quiet time this morning in Romans 5:

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we^[a] have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, ² through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we^[b] boast in the hope of the glory of God. ³ Not only so, but we^[c] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴ perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.⁶ You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. ⁷ Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. ⁸ But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

 Everything happens for a reason as they say. Everything in our lives reflects "Our Story". I am thankful for my story - All I can pray and ask is that one day, My Story would be worth telling. Embrace it all loved ones, God is shaping you to who he wants you to be. Thanks be to God. Keep pressing on - The best is yet to come :) As I shared my words with my brother Danny before they closed the casket - Brother, I will see you soon but not too soon. God doesnt want to wait till the end of your life to be with you. He wants a relationship with you now.

  

Lonnie~