Favorites?

I wanted to post an article that I read this morning and it really hit home. A few months ago it was brought to my attention that in my leadership of the students I was playing favorites. It really bothered me then and has since then. We all know that no matter what position a person holds, if they are leading co-workers, students, children - who ever - there will be your GOTO people. You will have that small handful of students in your class you always call on, you call certain ones out because they are leaders and they get what you are teaching or leading them to do. Its normal! For months now I have quesioned myself on that but felt it strongly in my heart I was doing and did the right thing because I never excluded anyone, never not shook a hand or welcomed someone new - I actually went WAY out of my way to greet someone with a smile and give them a feeling that they were welcomed. As time has went on, I have felt even more sure of that decision because those students are still standing with me. We are still doing life together even as life has moved on. Our relationships in many ways are deeper now and I am SO thankful and grateful that God pressed on me that I was doing the right thing. So from Simply Youth Ministry - Jason Veliquette shares his article. Thanks Jason for your heart and words here... they have helped me moved past this. Many thanks man!
Enjoy the article today. Hope it helps someone today.
Lonnie

That’s right…play favorites. It will keep you in youth ministry for the long haul. As ministry grows it's easy to spend the majority of our time on leading volunteers, planning, and programming youth ministry. It can become easy for our one-on-one relationships with students to take a back seat. So have a few favorites. It doesn't matter how large or small your ministry is, one-on-one discipleship is huge. These relationships will stoke your passion for youth ministry, keep you grounded in reality, and keep you going for the long haul. These relationships can be frustrating and difficult but you will never regret it.

One of my favorites is a guy named John. He's a sophomore, football player, smart, and totally busy. A while back he started to drift out of coming to our weekly youth meetings because of his busy schedule. So I decided to ask him to meet me for lunch. And over burritos and Coke we discussed topics from him being busy to whether or not he should have sex with his girlfriend. Interestingly he had been going to our church for years but didn't have his mind made up if it was okay to have sex with his girlfriend. I was shocked, and felt a boldness to speak into his life. I was able to be totally up-front with him and tell him that if he didn't decide not to have sex with his girlfriend that he would end up doing it. And thankfully in subsequent meetings he made a decision to follow God’s plan for sex. So here is a student who doesn't go to our weekly youth meeting but God allowed me to speak into his life over some Mexican food. This conversation wouldn't have happened without a one-on-one meeting. And I was pumped to be part of his life.

Here are a few thoughts on Playing Favorites:

Choose students wisely.
There are probably many students that you could develop discipleship type of relationships with. This kind of relationship takes a lot of time so you have to choose a few students wisely. Questions that I ask myself before inviting a student into this type of relationship are: Do they have a desire to have this type of relationship? Are they interested in spiritual growth? Do I get along with them? Do I have the time to commit? Do they have the time to commit? Sometimes I like to test the water by meeting with a student once or twice before I place a formal invite.

Meet consistently/and creatively.
Make your meetings a regular time and place. This will provide some stability in your relationship and in the student’s life. Most students have such crazy busy schedules that to have one weekly meeting with a role model could give their life the stability that they need. Even if it is every other week make the meetings regular.

Also, I find it fun to make the meetings creative. You don’t just have to do the same thing every time that you meet. Switch it up…take them to the driving range or shooting range. (I have one leader that does this with students with parent permission…and it still makes me nervous). By being creative it will allow your relationship to develop through various activities.

Meet on their turf.
If you can set up the place of your meeting on their turf rather than your church it will show that you care about what is going on in their lives. Ask if you can meet them at their school for lunch. Bring a pizza and invite their other friends. Or find the other spots in your town where students hang out. Set your meetings for those places. It will show the student that you know a bit about what is going on in their lives.

Set goals.
Invite the student to help determine what the goals of the relationship are. Set a few simple clear goals for why you meet. With this it will help the student get the most out of your time together and it will help you be prepared for your times together. Every once and a while have a conversation about your goals and how you are doing. Switch them up every six to nine months to keep it fresh.

Include scripture.
This one may be obvious but it needs to be said. Every time you are together read some scripture together. The word of God is alive and when it is proclaimed it does something in the relationship. Many times even when we only spend a few moments in reading scripture together we can be reminded of what is really important in life.

Pray for the student.
Ask them for a prayer request and pray for them. Then the next time you see them ask about the prayer request. This is simple I know but totally effective.

I hope that these thoughts encourage you to engage in discipleship. Second Timothy 2:2 is a great verse that reminds us of this type of youth ministry. Play favorites; you will not regret it.