Golden Opportunity

I have spoken about Golden Opportunity over the last few months because its I fully believe its a chance that we often miss on something that we may never get again. Its that step in faith to seize the moment - its like sharing Christ with someone. You know those moments where someone comes into your life, might be the waitress at a local place you like to eat at, it might be a friend you havent seen in awhile or maybe someone totally random and conversation sparked over a coffee - but you get what Im saying - its that moment where you have an opening and you know because you feel it, you are nervous, you have that one moment to make the opening. Without risk that moment passes by and then its gone. - I got to take some time this past week for some vacation - nothing really planned since Carol did not have any vacation days left after Jamaica and we usually take this week after the 4th.... but this week was very odd. No plans for each day really and I kinda just flew with it. Sometimes good and sometimes things didnt work out but I got to spend some time in that Golden Opportunity with some of my close people in my life. People I would say that are my family and who know me, have my back and I have theirs. I spoke yesterday to them and thanked them for this time together, sharing smiles, having fun and investing in each other because as time goes on and peoples lives change and go in different directions. There was a moment that I know God put together where we were all climbing on the rocks on the Broad River in Chimney Rock NC and I was hanging back but the rest of the gang had taken off and I was in charge of flip flops and cell phones. Sad really nobody can unplug even while climbing rocks in such a beautiful place - but I had all the phones and I was just looking at the beauty of it all thinking, God you are truly amazing for creating such an incredible view. I love the sounds of rushing water, the birds singing and people laughing. The sun was setting over the mountains and it was just pretty .... I mean just really soaking up the moment.
It has me thinking on this sleepless night about character. I think part of one thing I try my best to do as I am involved with so many people is the work I have tried really hard to do - listening.
Listening to shape your character. How can we listen to God when we are constantly on the go, plugged in, moving on to the next ADD activity or chasing the next big thing? How do we listen to the people around us who are investing in us, who care for us and want what is best when we dont take the time to really listen? Listening to shape our character.

Listening and being good at it, means focusing attention on the message (what the person is saying) and reviewing the important information. I mean think about it if you would. Sound waves travel through the ear canal, it vibrates the ear drum, which causes 3 tiny bones to quiver which jiggles the inner ear fluid. Tiny hair cells then convert the wave into electric pulses that are then sent to the brain. WOW - that is amazing really if you think about it. Its a miracle really but it also is an acquired skill.
I want to share a few things that I try and focus on when I am really trying to listen. My close peeps tell me that I am approachable and easy to talk to but not everyone is that way. I am not that person that is always talking - we all know a few folks in our lives who are shaped to talk but they also have a hard time listening dont they? :)
One thing I find myself asking when I am leaning in to listen to someone is: Am I interested in what they are saying? Students especially, can tell whether they have your attention or not. They are gifted in this! I never answer my cell or open it up to text someone when I am listening to what is important enough for them to share with me. They have to have your attention otherwise the conversation shuts down right then. I always have an invitation set out there for people to talk. I try to always follow up with a student, especially when they tell me, Lonnie, I have something to talk to you about. I do my best not to miss the moment, especially when they want to talk. Some are hard to get to open up and when they do, it is a special moment. So if you cant speak then - stay open to that invitation and invite them in to when you can speak to them. It really shows them that what they have to say matters. I also try to listen to the best I can patiently. I mean it takes students longer to say what they want to say - more so than adults. Their brains are all over the place and even in mid sentence might hit a "meatball" and be thinking of something else but still in the conversation. Be patient and help them focus and get back to the topic - people always think faster than they talk. Listen as though you have plenty of time. I also find myself sometimes at the place where I just really want to finish their sentences. I know the words that are coming and the direction of the conversation but its so important to let people finish what they are saying without being interrupted. Hear them out - thats why they are talking to you because they want to be heard. Especially students, they talk to their pastors, teachers, trusted adults because they feel they are not being heard ... mostly by their parents. They often feel like nobody is listening and when people dont listen - they feel that nobody understands them... bad place to be because they then turn to other avenues to be heard. I wont go into all that but if you really think about it ... you know there are plenty of avenues for students to walk down in order to be heard - thus wanting to be understood.
Listening is also non verbal. Meaning body language and facial expression often times speaks louder than words. Think about your expressions on your face or how you are sitting or your energy level when someone is sharing something with you. Think about the tone of the voices being shared - it often times sets the stage to the next level of communication or it stops it right there in its tracks.
All in all - its about trust. If a student know he or she can come to talk to you about something - first they trust you! Honor them by trusting them back and in your words - you are helping to shape their character. We can either bring people up or we can tear them down with our words. They are powerful and when people see and feel the power in your building character words - they tend to want to have more. Nobody ever says -stop with all the encouraging words!!!

I want to finish today with saying that the words we use should always be the same no matter who you are with. Meaning that we should be that same person all the time. I was riding home in the van yesterday and I got a little upset with a comment made as the Ipod was playing what everyone today listens to. Not really my cup of tea but as a leader - you have to be uncomfortable at times and enter into places in peoples lives so you can learn. Its hard sometimes not to say anything and just listen. Listen to the chatter talk back and forth about this and that and what is so important in the lives of young people today. I was that age once and a reminder from time to time is good. So as a song came on, an announcement was made that it was inappropriate to play that song in the van. I got a little upset with that and maybe I shouldnt. But I should not be the moral judgement there. Just because I was in the van at that moment that song was not played but I know that if I was not there it would have been. Its like wearing a mask - maybe the song shouldnt be on the ipod in the first place. Maybe the song needs to be heard by a parent. Maybe we have forgotten that God knows that song is on there and is played and I bet that song - everyone knew the lyrics to it. Why did I stop that song from being played? Respect maybe. Honoring to me maybe for not playing it.
It did really upset me - its like a student who cusses all the time but is clean when they are with me. I think God knows the heart there and the character of the person no matter what situation or group they are in.
You should be the same person all the time. If knowing a song can upset a parent or a trusted adult in your life - they why have it? Why clean up your language around them but not around your friends and you cuss like a drunk sailor?
Seeking Gods character should affect your character. We get that through listening but also through His moral compass - not mine. I am still a little upset but the masks.......

Philippians 1:11 - May you always be filled with the fruit of your salvation - the righteous character produced in your life by Jesus Christ - for this will bring much glory and praise to God.

Be that same person all the time - in the music you listen to, the character that you are wanting to have, and the language that you use no matter who you are with or what situation you may be in. 1 Corinthians 15:33 - Dont be fooled by those who say such things, for "Bad company corrupts good character".

Its Gods character we are after right? Then listen and learn what that character is all about - its the same character all the time.
The skill of listening leads to a change of character.