I dont have any idea how long its been since my last blog post. Its just been nuts but I am making some time to write today and I know I will feel better afterwards. That sounds ODD doesnt it but for me, I get things built up on me and in my heart and this is a way for me to avenue my energy into a focused point - maybe this helps someone maybe not. I pray it does bring some clarity or some encouragement to someone out there.
This past few weeks have been extremely busy. Working on messages for the Flood student ministry at church as well as planning for Sunday service, Wed night LOL service, Friday mornings at YCI - it has been busy and keeping fresh and in tune with what God is wanting to say through these avenues to these students but also staying fresh and learning in my own spirit - there doesnt seem to be enough energy to go around. I know a few times last week, after the gym in the evening God gave me some things in the book of Psalms to calm me and focus me and encourage me. I have been training for a 5K which is through the YMCA that a few students have challenged me on and I plan on running it under 35 minutes - at least that is my goal. So I have been up at 5:17 and hitting the treadmill at the gym. There is a different kind of gym rats that early in the morning and even though its hard to get up, my legs HURT - I am enjoying it and finding myself with a little more energy during the day. I do have to go to my Happy Place at Starbucks in the afternoon with Holly, Lori, Matthew or miss Abby - they are such great kids and I fully enjoy their stories and talk through their struggles in life.
The past couple of Mondays, I have really missed my down time. After a full Sunday being around people, pouring myself into the students in the Flood and teaching, then leading in Rock Group Sunday night - I am pretty spent on Mondays. I have done a good job up until now to take Monday off from appointments and ministry type service with students or meeting with parents - I need that down time. I need my family time and its not fair sometimes to be at a place where I am that tired that I cannot give totally to them either. Lots of Monday evenings, I catch up on my reading, study a little for something I need to know more of that is coming up, put the TV on and laugh at a show that is on.... Its also a time during work if I have time to really think about the day before. Did I do ok? Did the students get my message? What could we/I have done better or differently, Did I forget to say hi to the new students, did I make a good impact by saying what I said, did I encourage anyone? Was I available to talk through a tough place with that student who seemed off and out of norm.... thousands of questions run through my mind - all the while trying to be in a place where I too am being fed through the early service. What is God wanting me to learn, to know and to do...... At times its easy to just stand in place and feel overwhelmed. Especially when your close students dont appear to be engaged, dont come, sit in the service, make rude comments, distract everyone around them and who knows what else..... but the focus I have to remain on is that Jesus is in their heart and He is doing something in them even when it appears nothing is happening on the outside. I know they love Christ, they respect and maybe love me as well and there are seasons of time where they will seem to be distant and not plugged in - Lord help me focus on the new people trying to get plugged in who need and are eager and want to walk a few steps with me. Get to know me a little better so that they can feel at home and comfortable and able to really open up their hearts to you. I have to keep the big picture in place even when one or two really are weighing me down.

This coming Thursday evening Carol and I are headed to south Charlotte for date night. We will get something to eat and then head over to a movie preview that will premier in Sept - it should be a great movie and I even plan on taking some notes during the movie. I am really excited to be hanging out with Carol and enjoying some time together.
I am reading 2 books right now- "Your first two years in youth ministry" and "Sun Stand Still" for the second time as my small group is reading it together and I am just busting at the seems with stuff. Stuff that honestly, I am having trouble just putting sentences together LOL :)

So for today - as I put my ipod back in my ears and rejoice in the focus that God is great and God is Good - that is reason enough to celebrate and push through. Praying I can push through in my 5k training. Im hurting here and I know that its in me ... Just as God is in me to do what He has called me to do. Just got to push through that barrier ... showing the love of Christ to those around me, willing to stick with me, - Lord help me be more open, help me give more and expect less.
Sorry this is not that deep today and not that impressing but its heart level and sometimes thats good too.
Peace,
Lonnie~