I am sitting here with a blank screen. My mind is running in a thousand directions and my heart seems to be unsettled today. These are days that I probably should not write but I feel that something will come from this me typing away and unloading my heart. As I sat in service yesterday and listening about the hope and joy and the true meaning of Christmas - I am thinking back to a time where my families faith was really being tested and Christ was truly speaking in everything around us. My father in law laid on his death bed in the back room and rock group still taking place with a study of 30 days to live. It was a tough season especially for one that at the time a great family figure such as Walt could pass without knowing Jesus. This truth was heavy on the heart of my son Kyle. We don't give our kids credit enough for what they understand because they really do get a lot of what is going on in our adult world.
I found an email that he had sent to our Pastor and I want to share it today because it shows the love and care that a child has for a father or grandfather in their life.

Dear Jimmy,
My grandpa does not have that many days left in his life.
How do I get him to believ in god.
I have two people in the nersing home praying for him every night.
Can you talk to me on sunday.
I look up to you alot.
You are the best!
pleaze help me and my mom and dad trew this toughf time.
from
kyle batman

Those are precious words. That is a heart being shown for Christ. How did that get there? A parents influence perhaps. Life experiences and faith of a child seeing God work all around him. Yesterday during the message of Christ being born I couldn't help but to think about Joseph. Its also Kyle's middle name but I mean here Christ is being born and he is the earthly father. All he had to go on was dreams. He didnt see an angel like Mary did, he knew he had not had relations with Mary so how could she be pregnant? His family included Christ? He had to flee in order not to bring Mary disgrace because having a baby out of wedlock then was big time frowned upon. Think of the pressures involved! Not much is recorded of Joseph in his life, how he raised Jesus, did he spank him, put him in timeout, sit Jesus on his lap and read to him, teach him the family trade. Did Jesus fight with his brothers? Did he fight dirty, did he get beat up? You know all these things took place because he was his father. Adopted in a way - and adopted kids take over a fathers heart just the same. I too have a few close kids that I feel are like my adopted children and they too have my heart. I love them just as much but at times in our relationship - I am powerless. I have to be in the shadows. Much like Joseph - he too had to parent in the shadows. I ask myself at times when things are not going that great with my adopted kids "Why me Lord, Why did you call me to do this?" Joseph probably felt the same way with his adopted child.
It is an impossible task raising a child today. Being a parent is impossible at times. To take a life from its first breath through maturity... feed, clothe, educate, keep out of trouble, and all the rest. There were probably some struggles in their relationship for sure... texting, facebook and talking on the phone... some things never change. :)
One thing was certain - Jesus had a strong understanding of the word father. Part of that understanding came from Joseph. As Kyle led his grandpa in prayer to receive Christ in his last words spoken on this earth - faith understands father. Faith is in relationship with Christ. There are times in our lives where our faith is tested and in that season we grow, we learn and get out of our comfort zones. Our children look to us parents as examples. Its ok to let our kids see us struggle with decisions, to cry and lean on those around us when life hurts. They need to see us praying and seeking Christs face in our lives. They need us seeking guidance from our father. I am sure Mary and Joseph showed Jesus these things. They probably had a lot to do with his footsteps in faith and in his teaching and with that as Jesus grew older - parenting in the shadows.

Just as Joseph who loved his son more than life itself - probably knew in his heart that he wouldnt be able to hold his sons hand for long but he knew that Jesus would hold his heart for a lifetime.

I bet Joseph was a gentle man and a caring person and put family high on the importance list. Selfishness was probably not in his vocabulary as he had to take a different road than most in being a father.
Collossians 4:5 - be wise in the way you act; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversations be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

I'm in the shadows today...
Lon~