H&H - lets see if we can't finish up the last of the core family values with a couple important and valued principles.

What on earth is H&H?

Honesty and Honor.

There comes a time in any relationship where there will be some testing. Things wont work out perfectly, someone does something or says something that is over the line or hurts the other person or some differences creep in and threatens the relationship in its entirety. Dealing with middle school students, I get to see a lot of this relational drama taking place and it even happens in our adult relationship as well. Its all according to how real people are and how much focus is on "self" that determines the level of drama in someones life.

A few weeks ago, I was up visiting my family for our family reunion and I just love being there and seeing everyone because I don't get much chance to do that very often. After visiting and eating I usually always make it over to where my mom is buried. Its such a pretty place with the outline of the mountain there looking down on the valley - even though its in the mountains this is part of the mountain that is not a cliff but looking up at that mountain as a kid ... I know in my mind then just how big that mountain was. I mean it looked huge as a kid. Like nobody would ever be able to climb it, no road could wind through it, nobody would ever live on it. But today, that little country road rides ride up that mountain, connects to other roads and at night what once was dark and quiet now has lights sprinkled all over it as families have built homes and now live there. That little quiet community centered white church is no longer that place to meet God as I remembered when I was a kid, its just one of many spread out through that growing community. I can remember walking out my grandmothers porch and headed down to my great grandmothers house and feeling it was a long walk but today its just a block away. Things as we get older seem to take on a new perspective and what was huge in our lives then seem to be small today. Maybe its because life changes our views, we see things differently, maybe we are more wise today than when we were young and immature.

I think a pause in life is necessary at times for us to focus on the real big honest issues that are affecting us. We need time to reflect not only where we have been but also where we are going. As I again reference Paul and Timothy's relationship - I becomes so clear to me even more today, that we need someone to help us with honest answers. Honest friendship that is God centered and with His intentions. We all need that person in our life to share with is that truth that often times we need in life to keep it on track and course. I am blessed to have a few of those people in my life and I am sad that some of those Pauls in my life are no longer with me today. My mom was such an influence, my father n law was such and influence, my mother n law was such an influence. These were folks in my life that told the truth, shot from the hip, said it the way it was and were honest with you no matter what because they valued the friend over the friendship. If it meant a season of time that we didn't speak because of something that needed to be said - hey it was worth it. Time passed and you got over it and moved on.
As I look at the core family value of Honesty - it has to be in the root system of any family relationship that is healthy otherwise you just may find yourself on the outside of it looking in. Every family has one that is the crazy nut burger family member and if you don't have one, you may be that one!
Being honest is like looking at the mountain and putting things into their proper perspective. As a student or young person, the things you are facing may seem huge and complicated but to an older wiser person they may seem smaller because of their seasons of life in gaining wisdom. Wisdom is just knowledge that is applied otherwise its just stuff. I find that one of the hardest things in ministry work with students. You know the way they should go for the most part but they are hard hearted or hard headed in some cases and want to do things their way even if it means their choices bring pain to themselves and everyone around them. Adults do this as well as one friends choices affect all those around them even when trusted friends are telling the honest truth.
Respect is something that is earned but Honor is something that is given.

I fully believe that by respecting someone that relationship will honor each other and honor God. Respect leads to honor and in doing so I think it brings the relationship up a few notches from the norm. I respect my mom and dad and in doing so I honor them in all I do. I want to make them proud and in doing so it affects my decisions and choices in life.
I respect my family and in doing so I honor them by giving them priority and access to speak to my heart. I respect the friends and family I am doing life with and in doing so - I honor them by putting them first and being there for them when they need me.
Last night I had one of my close kids call me and want to talk through some things. That respect leads to honor and I am honored that she called and leaned on me to talk through some things.

It is said in Matthew 15:6 - Honor your father and mother.
Respect them and it will bring honor. I pray that someday that when he is a grown man that I have instilled values and self worth into his life where he would want to in his manhood like his old man. I pray that in some small way that the daughters I have adopted as my own will seek a quality that they find in me that they would want in a husband. Strive to be like Jesus and I truly believe that will honor our heavenly father.
Lonnie~