It has been a few weeks since really posting something here on "thewalk". Other than Monday sharing a few things, I just have not had time nor have I had the energy to do so. I am somewhat back in the groove though with getting back to work and getting normal sleep again. I feel like in some ways a huge weight off my shoulders knowing Kate is safe, in a place where she is getting help and I don't have to be on red alert all the time. I have some time and energy now to focus on a few things and a few relationships.
As I look back being the leader of my home - I have question my leadership in the home as a husband, a father and spiritual leader over the last year - especially the last few months. How could I even get to this place without God? How could I continue to stay focused and trust when everything seems to be falling apart and maybe even leading in the wrong direction?
As I begin to open my bible the last few mornings it became very clear to me that - get this - every family mentioned in the bible is jacked up. I mean here are families that is part of Gods story to us and they are having the same issues as I am. I am no different.... I have doubts in my ability and in my decisions. I give things to God every single day and plead for Him to help me with this or lead me in that or even help me understand if its in my purpose to understand. Help me trust no matter what Lord that you are in the details and you have promised a good result regardless if it works out in favor for me. Everything has a God purpose and God doesn't waste an experience to teach us something.
It was awesome to get to invest into one of my close kids last week while at the cabin. Miss Anna is for sure one of those leaders that people follow. She is such a great young lady and I love talking about church, youth programs and Jesus with her as well as a bunch of other things. I look forward to having more time to do that again soon. This is a student that gets it. It doesn't take much pouring into and energy into looking forward in life and making good choices... its just easy. I love those kind of relationships with mykids. Even though some relationships are hard - thats ok - they are worth the extra vision, heart sharing and talks that we have. God has a purpose for them and has a high value on them and so do I.
Student ministry is not easy. It has so many ups and downs and places that really require me to stay focused on Christ if I am to make an impact at all. I wouldn't trade it for anything and I know that this season will end too one day but I am going to fight hard for these students, mykids, because my heart breaks for them and loves them all in the same heartbeat.
Moving forward today ... looking around me and seeing who is sticking. I see good things happening and that pumps me up. Glad I am not alone in this journey and that God has given us examples of families and leaders who also have struggled but trusted God with a good result.

Lonnie~