Up early but not up as early as I have been this week. For sure this has been a trying week. I am not even sure how I want to say what I want to say. Heck, I may not even be able to do so. I am at the cabin, its 37 degrees out and 64 in here... the kids are sleeping all over the living room. Some with soft breaths and some with a more snarl growl to it ... not a snore but almost... maybe in a few years. We had such a great time last night with celebrating Kates birthday. She looked so pretty all dressed up and for whom? Nobody but family here so maybe she did that for us... I will stick with that.... we had a great supper at Larkins @Lake Lure - its one of our favoritle places to hang out up here. Kate and Kyle even decorated a $1 bill and got to hang it on the wall. There times during the evening though that I just found myself, heart and mind, drifting away. I was off someplace else for a bit.... until something would grab me and pull me back me. Like Kate telling one of her friends on the phone we were in the mountains ...which state is this? Kyle with his always on laugh singing pants on the ground .... or Zach trying to be funny with his straight face .... and then a quick smile to let you know he is having fun. Carol taking recordings with the camera and just sitting back taking it all in.
Yesterday I got the call I have been dreading but needing to hear. My Aunt Sharon has parkinsons. The last few months have really progressed to the point of her not having any signs to now where she is having issues walking and her arm is just not working to do much. I have to say that this was a huge punch for me.... I was expecting it... you know something is wrong, God has gave me some insight a few days before so I knew it was coming but its still hard when you finally get to hear the news. My mind goes forward a year and wonder where all this will be then. I think 2 years? How about this summer? I had a good talk with a good friend of mine yesterday and I appreciate those words. I also got to talk with my sis Patty last night and we got to cry together. Its all in Gods hands... and God will use this for His purposes and He will reveal them when He is ready. I trust in that... and I believe in that because I have been there before.
I have been with little.... I have lived with much... I have been there at birth and I have been there in death........ but Gods grace covers over all this with and through his son Jesus.
So even as I struggle with all this, I am at a difficult place right now with one of my kids, and life just seems very hard right now ....sometimes don’t the richest times come right in the midst of our hardest times? That’s because God made us to live in community – to laugh, cry, hurt, and celebrate with each other, no matter what we’re going through…
I finished up the book "To Save a Life" - movie is out this weekend and hope its getting some great reviews. We will be heading to the movies on Wed evening as the Student Ministry at church has put this together for our church and extended friends and families to join in. I have been praying hard that this rocks the worlds and moves the hearts of all who see it. Especially those folks who find themselves living for them today. Pushing things, pushing people aside and self serving...... they say they are a christian but that only the outside - inside there are struggles, hurts, secrets pain and it shows on the outside. If the movie is as good as the book - this is going to be the start of something amazing. God will be using the movie for great things.
Looking forward to church tomorrow down in Greenville SC. We are headed to NewSpring church - they have 1 service tomorrow at the Greenville Bi-Lo center ... so we will be with 17000 of our closest brothers and sisters...... It may be just exactly what I needed.
Cabin, coffee ready now and my Bible in hand..... I can start my day in a bit but its starting with the right things. I learned how to say I am sorry in sign language the other day.... nobody can see it right now but just me and God.
May peace and love flow from you today,
Lonnie
1 comment:
I am so glad that Katie has a real family now. She is in good hands. She will always remember her 16th birthday and all of you will always be in that memory. That is what life is all about, memories.
I have absorbed the news I received yesterday, I was not surprised, I think I knew already what it was. All the months of thinking "something is wrong with me" and then thinking "maybe it's just all in my head" and "what is wrong with me??" have come to a head and this morning as I start the meds for parkinson's disease I admit I am a little nervous about the strange pills that work in your brain. Of course, that's the devil's doings he won't miss an opportunity if you let him get his foot in the door.
My first thoughts are that I know God is with me and will be through it all. I also ponder on the fact that since I am so much younger than Uncle Buster will I be able to take care of him or is he going to have to try to take care of me? And of course, my heart is broken that your momma is not here to walk this walk with me. She was all about this you know, being here for me, she was always here for me no matter what I had to go through. I thought of it in the neurologist waiting room before I went in. How she would be there holding my hand rubbing my hand with her thumb as she always did. She always SHOWED her feelings, how she cared, while so many others just expected you to KNOW they care. But she was all about SHOWING it in little precious ways. But then again I'm thinking, I wouldn't want her to have to go through worrying about me, so I guess God worked it all out, she had enough in her life to worry about without having to go through this with me. My next thoughts are that I may have Parkinson's disease but I am not going to let it have me. I am going to do the best I can, help myself all I can and learn all I can about it, and most of all I am going to continue to let my love of Jesus and His light to shine through me. I have already told Uncle Buster no matter what it takes, whether it gets better or worse, get me to church any way you have to. I go Sunday mornings, Sunday night, and Wednesday night services, and any other time in between that I can. That is the fuel for my heart. I do NOT want any way to "forsake the assembling of His House". HE is the most important thing in my life, not parkinson's. HE is what is going to get me through to the other side. I don't know what I'll have to face, it may not be good, but I know in my heart what lies on the other side for me. No matter what comes my way with this I am not going to let Satan stop me from reaching that other side. I have too much waiting there for me, and it's possible this very well may be my opportunity to go sooner.
God bless you Randy, I am still happy. I have a good husband and son & family, a good church family, my adopted son (you of course)so many precious memories that I believe God will allow me to remember, and my Salvation in Jesus Christ. I can overcome anything that I have to with the help of my Lord. I am quoting the same scripture to myself that I quoted so many times to your momma "I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears" Psalms 34:4
Look up, our redemption draweth near!
I love you dear one,
Aunt Sharon
Post a Comment