I am about half way through my current read - Raising a Modern - Day Knight by Robert Lewis and it is challenging me in a few ways. One of the things I read yesterday was dealing with the code of conduct. Yes dealing with "Ethics". Ethics are simple matters of right and wrong. It is only the practice of ethics that is difficult. So my question today is - "Who are you when no one is looking?"
This really has me thinking about character. Some of the experiences with people I am reflecting on, all of which is including the kids I come in contact with at the schools, church and in life - parents and friends. Who am I when no one is looking? What messages am I sending to my wife, my son, and others in the things I do, the things I say each and act every day? What is my character like if I didn't say a word? Do the things I value in life and the God I represent shine above the little things that make up who I am or do the character things shine over who God says I am?
I do get to meet a lot of kids in the schools each week that I really have no idea who they are, where they have been, what they are going through or what life is like at home. I basically know very little - other than if I come in contact with them they are probably friends with one of "MyKids" that I visit in the schools. These are the kids that I invest my time, passion and care into because I know them, I know their parents and they see the value of me visiting with them. Mainly because encouragement, value and friendship, male role model are all qualities that they feel are important for their children to experience. It is part of my ministry and I value this greatly because I want others to see Jesus above seeing me in the things I say - the things I do and in my actions. It is part of my character, it is part of who I am, it is part of my shape and is a part of my heart.
They say you never get another chance to make a first impression. It is so true but I try to not put all my eggs in one basket so to say. People deserve a second chance. We don't know what is going on in their lives. We don't know what their last phone call was about or what they are struggling with. So many times, people are who they are for a reason. Our children suffer often times by the choices their parents make and how much value we put on them, our relationship with them, our leadership with them, our choices and example we are showing them. Many times after just meeting someone - you can tell who has the attitude, who thinks they deserve something for nothing, you know what I am saying. Life is probably going to be hard if things don't change ... I can be speaking of 5th graders, high school kids, young adults, or even folks in their 40's. Who are you when no one is looking? Are you constantly picking fights, looking to cause friction between people, causing trouble and strife, being passive in your leadership at home and over your family? Do you still make teenage decisions and act like you are in your 20's when you are in your 40's?
Jesus provided so many examples for us in how He lived his life. He came to serve others and so should we. His needs were put behind the needs of others. Imagine how life would change if you put the needs of your wife or husband before your own. How the lives of your children would change by you putting their needs ahead of yours. Your leadership, your example, your building up of their character instead of tearing them down. You putting others ahead of yourself and letting God change you - change the inner side of you in shaping your character. Who are you when no one is looking? Would your music change, the friends you hang with, the places you visit, the movies you watch - would the beer joint still be on the list of places you go? Would your grades be important to you? Would pleasing your teacher be important? Would you be willing to remove some of your friends because they are a bad influence and they are leading you down a hard road?
Our heavenly father know who we are when no one is looking. By choosing what is right you are choosing to be forever strengthened. God has a lot to say about your character. Will you let Him speak to you through His word, through others, and through your circumstances?
Proverbs have really been speaking to me the last week. Let me share some of Proverbs 10 this morning. I am including all of Proverbs 10 (The Message) because I know there will be 1 or 2 verses that really touch home for each of us. Its up to you to let the wise words sink in.
Proverbs 10 - The Wise Sayings of Solomon
An Honest Life Is Immortal
1 Wise son, glad father; stupid son, sad mother.
2 Ill-gotten gain gets you nowhere; an honest life is immortal.
3 God won't starve an honest soul, but he frustrates the appetites of the wicked.
4 Sloth makes you poor; diligence brings wealth.
5 Make hay while the sun shines—that's smart; go fishing during harvest—that's stupid.
6 Blessings accrue on a good and honest life, but the mouth of the wicked is a dark cave of abuse.
7 A good and honest life is a blessed memorial; a wicked life leaves a rotten stench.
8 A wise heart takes orders; an empty head will come unglued.
9 Honesty lives confident and carefree, but Shifty is sure to be exposed.
10 An evasive eye is a sign of trouble ahead, but an open, face-to-face meeting results in peace. 11 The mouth of a good person is a deep, life-giving well, but the mouth of the wicked is a dark cave of abuse.
12 Hatred starts fights, but love pulls a quilt over the bickering.
13 You'll find wisdom on the lips of a person of insight, but the shortsighted needs a slap in the face.
14 The wise accumulate knowledge—a true treasure; know-it-alls talk too much—a sheer waste.
The Road to Life Is a Disciplined Life
15 The wealth of the rich is their bastion; the poverty of the indigent is their ruin.
16 The wage of a good person is exuberant life; an evil person ends up with nothing but sin.
17 The road to life is a disciplined life; ignore correction and you're lost for good.
18 Liars secretly hoard hatred; fools openly spread slander.
19 The more talk, the less truth; the wise measure their words.
20 The speech of a good person is worth waiting for; the blabber of the wicked is worthless.
21 The talk of a good person is rich fare for many, but chatterboxes die of an empty heart.
Fear-of-God Expands Your Life
22 God's blessing makes life rich; nothing we do can improve on God.
23 An empty-head thinks mischief is fun, but a mindful person relishes wisdom.
24 The nightmares of the wicked come true; what the good people desire, they get.
25 When the storm is over, there's nothing left of the wicked; good people, firm on their rock foundation, aren't even fazed.
26 A lazy employee will give you nothing but trouble; it's vinegar in the mouth, smoke in the eyes.
27 The Fear-of-God expands your life; a wicked life is a puny life.
28 The aspirations of good people end in celebration; the ambitions of bad people crash.
29 God is solid backing to a well-lived life, but he calls into question a shabby performance.
30 Good people last—they can't be moved; the wicked are here today, gone tomorrow.
31 A good person's mouth is a clear fountain of wisdom; a foul mouth is a stagnant swamp.
32 The speech of a good person clears the air; the words of the wicked pollute it.
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