I am finding it harder and harder to find the time to get my thoughts out here on "thewalk". But dont give up on me yet - I am steadfast in this journey as I share my heart on here. For me, this has been a wonderful avenue to keep my heart right, to have a chance to share my heart, pray, encourage and also to let others know that its okay to struggle and to doubt at times. I am real as I can be, emotional at times, but focused on sharing Gods word, His love, His grace to others.
So hang in there even if the posts are not daily like they used to be.

Yesterday was such a bitter sweet day being my moms 66 birthday. After spending Friday night and most of Saturday with Kyle and miss Emilee at the cabin having a great time together, out on the boat, fishing, tubing and meeting up with friends - it was such a great time as we laughed and smiled. Yesterday I stopped at Lowes foods and picked up some items for my message yesterday as well as some fresh cut flowers. I placed those flowers at the front of the room yesterday and asked God for my mom to be with me during my message. It was a message I had an idea to speak on coming from Matthew 19 but one that I didnt have much notes for. I wanted to focus on the passion of the message and bring what was on my heart yesterday. My mom I think in some ways would be proud of me for standing in front of all the students and teaching them about Christ. I think she would be proud of me for pouring 110% of my heart and soul into them and not only telling them about Jesus but also doing all I can do SHOW them Jesus. Though there are times that are really hard, even questioning why I am doing this, but all in all - I am really loving the journey together. I have a lot of great students, some totally on fire for Jesus and standing their lives for him in their schools and friends. Some are a work in progress and together hopefully we will continue to take inch by inch steps towards them really realizing that they can follow Jesus in an honoring way. With so much drama in the teens years, its really hard to do that walk - maturity is not anywhere close to really figure out what is the real deal or not. Regardless of surrounding, Gods word spoken 2000 years ago still is the same words He is speaking to us today - FOLLOW ME.
Peter left a fishing business, a family income and all he had known to follow Jesus. Not knowing where he was headed or if there was even a promise of what comes next - He dropped and went with Jesus.
Mom those flowers in the front of the room was to honor you yesterday because of what you have instilled in me, placed those important things in my heart but also for me to share you with my students yesterday. HONOR is such a big word and a lost virtue today. Though I may not have shown you honor in all my days - it is something I wished I had done more of when I had the chance to. Its something I try and press on my students to understand. Though there are some who also have lost a mom - they really understand and that bond we have is strong and often times - I can look at those students and know what is on their heart. We sometimes just smile and say - Its going to be ok.
It will ... it will be okay because I know where you are today. I wouldnt change the path you had to walk, the places you had to go, the stuggle you had to face because all things work for the glory and good for those who believe in him. I may not understand many things, but I understand that God is in control and the real blessings come when we praise His name and bring glory through our stuggles. You did just that mom and I reflect on that often because you set a great example for all those around you.
Yesterday I was sharing Matthew 19:16-26 but for some reason I got carried away in the text as I unpacked what Matthew shares with us and I read outloud verse 30.
Matthew 19:30 -But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.

Gosh it took me a good minute to recover. You served others first mom - you SHOWED me the way ... and not just told me the way I should go in life. Took some time to finally get it, had to endure a season of watching my mom submit her life to Jesus in the most horrible way actually because of cancer but its in those struggles, those long nights, those opportunities to sit and talk about real things - that your heart was revealed.

I opened the students yesterday to take a flower if they had someone they that needed a flower, a smile or maybe a reminder that someone was thinking about them. You passed those flowers on through those students yesterday mom. It was really cool to see those who took the challenge and stood up to come and get one. I pray those flowers passed on through those students brought a smile, a reminder and goodness through them. I think you would have loved that.
Matthew 28: Jesus said to them, "I tell you the truth, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on 12 thrones ....

I look forward to sitting with you again mom. This time there wont be any other reason to have to get up, run here or run there .... unless of course its to worship the one and real deal - Jesus. That will be a worship service to interupt so much we will talk about .....

Love and miss you mom. More than you know.
Randy~