Some of the greatest pain in my life I have honestly brought onto myself. Thats big for me to say that and it took a little courage to do that. I can say that because I have walked the shoes of being a people pleaser. No matter what it took, how far I had to go or whatever it was I had to suck up - tried to always have the same end result. As I look around me with the students in my life and pouring this much into them - I see it all around me. I see it on Facebook. I see it in their actions. I see it when they talk to each other. In church, out of church, church students or not ... people pleasing is tough work and eventually it doesn't work out. Putting your faith in people will always let you down. You are wrapping your hands and feet in bondage. Jesus came to set you free from this painful pattern of living. (I'll do whatever it takes to make them like me) (Ill do whatever it takes to keep them)
There are a few things you can do to turn the corner in people pleasing. Hard to do, hard to learn for sure ... you can minimize your focus on what others think of you.
1 Corinthians 4:3 - But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court.
- Paul says its a minimal thing! No matter if that boy broke up with you... his words are a small thing! No matter that you are not the most popular in school or at work... its a small thing. No matter how many "friends" you have on Facebook ... its a small thing!
Maximize your focus on what God thinks of you. You must move to a place where Gods evaluation of you is your main thoughts. You can do that through reading his word. If you need a jump start - get a new bible in a different translation. Ask a new friend at church some spiritual questions and have that conversation. There may be a good friend right there and by doing so you MAY drop a few BAD ONES! Get with one of the leaders and ask to go for coffee, Starbucks works good! Hint Hint .....
Pray that God will move you to a place where you will want to spend more time with him and discovering His will and not someone elses. Dont be controlled by someone with emotions. Facebook is great for this - drama runs high hiding behind the keyboard or text message. Just walk away ........... Any lasting friendship will have forgiveness in there somewhere. Is that friendship worth it if one doesn't extend forgiveness? One is always on the take and the other is always on the give?
Limit the friendships that you have based on performance. People are never satisfied and friendship based on "what you will do for me" is never a good place to be.
Limit the influinces in your life that get to speak to your heart. You can't listen to everyone - that will really screw you up but chose a few trusted people and really lean in, dig in and listen to what they are saying. Far too many people today talk and talk and talk .... never hearing a word.
Lastly, get alone with God in your quiet time every day. Start with 5 minutes and build from there. "Lord are you pleased with my life right now?" - "Show me what I need to do to be closer to you", "My life is far from you and my walls are up, Help me break them down Lord."
God is the only one who has all the facts, he sees all your motives, he knows why you are seeking those friendships, He knows what is missing, He knows why you think you need a dude or a girl in your life .... He knows ........ and only Gods assessment of your life, the way you are living RIGHT NOW matters.
Honor God - Ephesians 5:10 - And try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord.
Lonnie~
No comments:
Post a Comment