The last few weeks it has been a little tough with a few things. For one, its been hard to find a little time to write on "thewalk" and it has been a little hard to share some of the things on my heart. I am pretty sure God is in the process of teaching me a few tough things and how I need to lean on Him during this season.
"Its clear enough to me
the ugliness I see
is evidence of who I need"

The last week or so, maybe a little longer, I do feel attacked. I think about some of the things being said and wonder - why? Where is this coming from? Maybe people don't get what I do or what exactly God has called me to do. Regardless, I have this calling on me and what am I supposed to do - say no to God? That won't end well...... so I have to find a way to make it work. I need to search my heart and the God things need to point me and direct me. I will say that often times my family takes a back seat to everything. I have to work on that. Saying NO is a hard thing for me. My mom has left a lasting impression on me with serving others and following Jesus - I can see where she modeled that from.
I am blessed to have some great people around me who lift me in prayer, walk with me, who invest in me and who have my back. You know who you are and I don't have words to express my heart for the trust I have in you, in your family and in your children.

The time once again may be near to purge some though. I do this on facebook, my cell phone at times but the real relationship part is a hard one. Don't panic if you think this is you - if it is - I will tell you. That is the honorable thing to do when you leave a place or have to walk away from a relationship. I think about that and for sure it hurts and if you would be in prayer about this for me, that would be great and I appreciate it.
I will say that even in this trial right now - I don't want to be a person that "Throws stones" in my life - I want to be a person that gives "Grace". Jesus modeled this for us in John 8 after the crowd brought forth a woman who had been caught in adultry. The law stated that she was to be stoned to death. Lets read the story of what Jesus said because it is such an amazing story.
John 8:8
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." 8Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
9At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"
11"No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."

Grace is such a beautiful gift even if its not deserving - its given. Blessed and thankful today for we serve a "Then Some" God. He gives and provides us what we need and "Then Some".
Even as I type this and share my heart here.... "Then Some" and "Grace" is given. So I am marching forward - those who stick will stick and those who don't - won't. Thats up to them. One of the things I am learning and trying to stay focused on is the bigger picture of a growing student ministry. Working hard to learn what I need to learn to be a leader but also small enough to care about the details. I had a student a few weeks back come to me and tell me she was grounded because of grades. She desperately needed prayers for them and I promised her I would pray daily for her grades and the end of year exams. She told me yesterday that she passed her EOG's with all 4's and was just so excited with thank you and smiles. Those are the details I am talking about. That is the shared gift of prayer. These students keep me up at night. They bother my heart and when God places something on your heart that bothers you - You will then do something about it and get involved.
I can say that engaging a teenager in ministry through Christ, is for me a way to have:
Dynamic faith in God - Wonder
Personal identity in Christ - Discovery
and a responsive heart towards them - Passion

I pray I am a small part in leading them as well in finding wonder, discovery and passion in Christ Jesus.

3 ingrediants to not only live this life but to change this life. If you are in a place today where you are chasing dreams, fogging on drugs, checked out of life, floating in school, priorities are not lined up - then you don't know the wonder, discovery and passion of Jesus or maybe you lost that clearness a while back. My story is my story and for you to be excited about what God is doing in my life might not just move you much but God is still writing our story. What is your story saying today? Right now?
Are you throwing stones or are you giving grace? Its time to write on the ground and cross over that line. We need to be desperate for Jesus. He is clearly what we (I) need.
Lonnie~