Rainy day blues....

As a follower Jesus - I should not be walking around like this today. I should be smiling and claiming victory in every area of my life - why - because Jesus has done that for me. So why the rainy day blues?

It was an emotional day yesterday at church. Feeling the weight building for the last few months, weeks, days and hours leading up to last week has been emotionally draining on me ...Carol included....Kyle included. Add the fact that school started and all the "new" that comes with that - 2 kids starting new schools... knowing very few people ... new routines with bus schedules and drop offs in the mornings... emotions of Kate being homesick and learning her new bounderies made for a hard week. Yesterday was such a powerful message at church and the music blew my heart away. Ending the service with people standing all around who need prayer - Pastor Jimmy praying for those in need and feeling those prayers really hit me hard. Emotions swelled and I am not much for holding them back these days. Thanks mom. So sometimes you just have to let it out........ and then evaluate, learn, grow and move on. God wants us moving forward and living life in the front of us.

After a great rock group meeting last night .... Carol and I finally had a chance to sit down and again emotions roll out with everything taking place and all that we have to do. Much is required these days .... and if I dwell on all that ... my head would just explode. God has us in a season of testing. What have we learned? What have I learned? Lord my trust is in you .... You will make a way for us. Myth~ that we have come to know as truth but is fully a lie, is the fact that God wont put on you more than you can handle. I used to believe that but I don't anymore. How is God to get your best out of you if He doesn't overload you? He wants to push you beyond our human limits so that we rely on Him. If we can do it on our own - who would need Him? .........

So as a parent - we want to fix things, we want to handle things and we want things to work out. Sometimes without the process to get there and sometimes we can't do those things and they really make our lives heavy. We begin to drag that around with us and if there are small failures along the way ... we make them HUGE when indeed they are not!! And there lie the lies that Satan has us believing ..living in defeat and living with our heads down and in the "Rainy day blues".

Each day is new.... Each day has its own victories and success stories in them. Build from there......

I started a day early in my NT90X - reading the New Testament for the next 90 days.... Pretty excited about this new adventure but I do plan on keeping with my study quiet time in the mornings flipping pages and letting God lead me to where He wants me. Maybe that is not the way others go about their quiet time but it seems to work for me.

I am in Psalms 62 today: 1 My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him.
2 He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

Shaken I am feeling today .... but rest assured ... I have to carry my cross, look whats up ahead and take comfort knowing that heaven is cheering me on. As I think about the people in my life... the people I am walking with.... if its their hurts or mine - you can tell when there is that genuine love. I am blessed to be doing life with many who are walking with me and my family. I take comfort in the hand that laid on my shoulder yesterday with my wifes hand wrapped around mine and on my chest as I wept during the prayer. I thank you for that! I am blessed to sit with one of "MyKids" yesterday at the 11:00 service who moved to come and sit with me, as mom was somewhere else ... she reached and we held hands as we prayed. I am proud of her for picking up her cross and making it personal. Its hers ... she owns it .... and its to be shared and experienced with others.
There is more to do ... there are more folks to reach.... and I will not rest... until my name is called.
Psalm 62: 8 Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.
Lonnie~