~The "V" word~

Monday already~ How did the weekend go by so fast? Had so much to do and so little time to get everything done. I fell into bed last night ... but thankful for the service that the Lord provided me yesterday and the people that I got to pour into. Investing is at times a very draining and tiring thing but it is SO important to the people being invested in. No - Investing - is not the "V" word. But...



Vacancy - is. Definition - the state of being vacant; emptiness - a vacant, empty, or unoccupied place.



I am thankful that my mom and dad stayed together while my brother and I were growing up. They, like all married couples, had their issues and struggles but divorce was not one of the options or decisions they chose. So many of the kids that I am doing life with, which I often refer to as "MyKids" - have a parent missing. I can think of one that has both missing. I think about that Vacancy - the hole that is in their life. A dad especially ~ How does a young boy turn into a good and honest man without his dad? How does a young 15 year old almost woman know what she likes in a boy and how does she know when its too far with crossing the line? The dad's role in these kids is so vital and important. With the divorce rate as high as it is today - our children are used to the fact that they live in 2 homes or have mom here and dad there. It is the NEW norm. I won't even get started on the "Father" role that is on TV today~

As I think through the role of being a dad ... 3 things come to mind. A dad has to first be a Father to his kids. So much of how we lives our lives shows through in how our children will live theirs. What we model for them - when the chips are down, they will model what we have taught them with living our own lives.

The other thing that comes to mind is that a dad needs to be a Friend. There are times as our children grow up that they really need a friend to hang out with. They need to know that dad is fun and that he is a normal dude. A dad that makes and TAKES time to invest in them like going bowling, watching the game on tv, going to the movies and out to eat just to name a few things. We need to make time to build the relationships up. If you have daughters - it is just as important to have a "Date night" with them as it is your wife. They need to know where the lines are - Dads need to step up to the plate and have those hard conversations with those awkward topics. If you don't have them - they will get the answers some place else and you only get one shot at it dads! Sons need to have time throwing the baseball or football around. They need one on one time with us! Our children need to know that they are the "Apples" in their dads eyes. The other thing that comes to mind is that dads need to be their children's "Hero". Not so much when they are older but when they are younger. A hero to look up to, to have fun with, to wrestle and have piggy back rides, to be silly with and to be the dad that is there on birthday parties and their first friends sleepovers and there when they get hurt. Our children need to see us leading the family. Praying over the family. Reading and living Gods example. They need to see us with compassion for others. They need to see the family unit in action - sitting at the table eating together and watching tv together - taking part in life together. They need loving discipline.

But the funny thing is - I don't think we can be all three of these things at once. I can't see myself as a Father, Friend and Hero all at once. They come in different stages and at different periods as our children get older. A Hero when they are younger but not while in middle school or high school - then coming back around if we have done everything right - a hero again when we are older. Not so much a Friend during the younger years when they need direction but for sure when they are in middle school, high school, college and beyond. A Father all the time. That loves unconditional and forgives when our heart breaks for our kids.



I think about "MyKids" today - who have a Vacancy in their life. They are missing out on some important parts that will eventually show up HUGE in their life down the road. Maybe when they are in college or in their adult years in their marriages. All the hugs that are missed, the prayers at bedtime, the birthday smiles and Christmas gifts - even those sports games and wrestling matches - that feeling of being special at the mommy son event at school or the daddy daughter dance.

I think about the time being invested now and how sweet and special that time really is. Its short - so much is packed into that time. The world stops turning for them during this time. As "MyKids" get a little older in the short coming years with middle and high school in full swing. That Hero status won't be there - that Friend status won't be there - that Fatherly status will be uncool as dads are replaced with friends. That time invested in them will show up. Your commitment to them might keep them from making a bad choice. Your character shows up then. What you stood for stands out for them then. Your leadership comes to life then. Your faith provides a path for them. Your prayers guide them.



Never underestimate the power of a praying father. Provide that foundation for them. Purposely plant a friendship with your kids. Chase after the things that last. You may not be as fast as a speeding bullet - but in the eyes of your kids...... you can be their "Hero" "Friend" & "Father".